Monday, 30 April 2018

The Reader Diaries #19: Where Have I Been + Struggling to Find Motivation

Hello, my lovely readers! It has been a month since I last wrote/posted anything on this blog. You may ask: What happened to me? Where have I been? Why am I not posting as much? Well, today I am here to answer your questions!
As you may know, I and currently in the second year of my university course in Languages, Literature and Culture, saying that things are getting harder is a gross understatement. My constant strive towards perfect grades and the level of work that I demand myself have been wearing me down. Sadly, I am not achieving my academic goals for the year and that makes me sad and unmotivated. In my search for motivation, I have found many tricks and support in the studyblr community. It is a great group of people that want to obtain success in their academic careers and help each other.
In the midst of my inner struggle, I was accepted to study a semester abroad! The whole process of applying and now, after acceptance, the paperwork and research necessary to actually go to my destination are wearing me out. I am supposed to spend the Autumn Semester of 2018/2019 at the University of Leeds, in the United Kingdom. I have always dreamed of studying in the UK hope to do my masters there so I am hoping that spending some time taking in their higher education system and the day-to-day living improves my chances of future success. To be honest I hope that I come out a more fulfilled person out of all of this.
Thanks to all my worries and lack of self-confidence my mental health has been really down. I have no energy and I have been neglecting my creative outlets: I haven't written, painted or drew in over a month. I have not been reading. I have been secluded in myself and in my pain. There are too many things happening in my life that are bringing me down and I have been letting them.
The past weeks I have been trying, even more, to come out of this well I put myself into and have been going to a psychologist to help me deal with my problems and get me back to a better place. I have been taking baby steps towards a better mental health and a better sense of myself. Spoiler alert: I has not been easy. The step I am taking this week is coming back to this blog, my baby and cutting  (added) sugar from my diet for 6 days.
I am happy to inform you that I have started reading again and that I hope that soon I will have good content to post for you. In my point of view if I am not going to post good content then I should not post anything at all. I have also started posting some pictures on the blog's Instagram page, meddling with new ways to promote my "brain child" is always fun and relaxing.
I am very excited to be back and hope that you are excited to have me back. Thank you for supporting me!
Love, Ana

Here's the last thing I posted on the blog's Instagram (I hope you like it):

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